This poem captures the culmination of a year’s long process of understanding myself as nonbinary that began while I was writing my collection, Transitory, about the murders of trans and gender nonconforming people. Maggie Nelson’s two books, Argonauts and Bluets provided a metaphorical framework for this knowing in a way that plain language could not. Something about the day, the shades of blue, and my massage therapist’s healing touch coalesced into this moment of realization.

Subhaga Crystal Bacon (they/them) is a Queer elder living in rural Washington on unceded Methow land. They are the author of four collections of poetry including the Lambda Literary Award finalist Transitory, from BOA Editions, and Surrender of Water in Hidden Places, Red Flag Poetry, 2022.

W: subhagacrystalbacon.com
X: @SubhagaCrystal
I: @BeingSubhaga
F: Subhaga Crystal Bacon